Amusing Golf Terms

An Adolf – Taking two shots in a bunker.
An Arthur Scargill – Great strike but a poor result.
A Rodney King – Over-clubbed.
An O.J. Simpson – Shouldn’t have, but got away with it.
A Condom – Safe but didn’t feel right.
An Elephant’s “bottom” – it’s high and it stinks.
A Sister-in-law – I’m up there, but I know that I shouldn’t be.
A Sally Gunnell – Not pretty but a good runner.
A Gerry Adams – A provisional.
A Dennis Wise – Nasty little five footer.
A Diego Maradonna – A very nasty five footer.
A Salman Rushdie – An impossible read.
A Douglas Bader – Looked good but didnt have the legs.
An Arsene Wenger – Everyone saw where it went but you.
A Tommy Sheridan – A shocking lie.
A Rio Ferdinand – Lipped out.
A Rock Hudson – Thought it was straight, but it wasn’t.
A ladyboy – Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems.
A gynaecologist’s assistant – Just shaved the hole.
Does your husband play? For when a man hits a short tee shot.
A Cuban – Needs one more revolution.
A Brazillian – Hits the narrow strip down the middle.
An Elton John – A big bender that lips the rim.
A Glen Miller – Low and didn’t make it over the water.
A Marylin Monroe – A fair crack up the middle (aka “A Blondie”).
A Princess Grace – Should have taken a driver.
A Princess Di – Shouldn’t have taken a driver.
A Michael Jackson – Fading away.
An Anna Kournikova – Looks great, but unlikely to get a result.
A Vinnie Jones – Nasty kick when you’re not expecting it.
A Tony Blair – Too much spin.
A Bin Laden – In the water and never to be found again.
A Jamie Oliver – You really want to smack it but you can’t.